Apple Muffin Sandwiches and the Food Police

Apple Muffin Sandwiches and the Food Police

Lateral Violence in Nursing and a Blurb About Google+

Have you ever heard of lateral violence? I've heard of it and never really paid it much attention or delved into the dynamics of the phenomenon. It's just another term for bullying really. Funny thing is I have been witness to and a victim of this particular form of bullying many (many) times. I can even recount times in nursing school when I was bullied by classmates and nurses during clinical and classes. Is this type of behavior acceptable amongst nurses? If not then why has it happened to me and others countless times in my career (I include nursing school) which now spans over two decades?

In an article that was shared by the website Nurse Together written by Kathleen Bartholomew (who has written a book Nurse to Nurse Hostility) there are actual statistics that accompany this statement. Also factoring in to this phenomenon is the fact that this problem causes mistakes and poor treatment of patients when the nurse is constantly being exposed to lateral violence. This issue also applies to those who just witness incidences.

Just what constitutes lateral violence you might ask? There are several forms and several ways that this abuse plays out. Behaviors from peers are referred to as horizontal or lateral hostility and are defined as: "Consistent patterns of behavior designed to control, diminish or devalue a peer (or group) which creates a risk to health or safety" (Farrell, 2005). Overtly consisting of but not limited to name calling, bickering, shouting, blaming, put-downs, intimidation, and gossip. Covertly consisting of but not limited to unfair assignments, refusing to help someone, ignoring, refusing to only work with certain people or not work with others, sabotage, whining, and exclusion.

I wish that I could say that I never witness these things. But every day that I work I am a victim of and witness to ignoring, refusing to work with certain others, whining, ignoring, gossip, put downs, raised eye brows, exclusion, fault finding, criticism, and raised voices. It is tiresome to say the least and really has made my workplace rather toxic. I am part of the problem because I just passively let people do these things to others and myself, so I think I can shoulder some of the blame. I am definitely going to try to become part of the solution not part of the problem. Now I must go and try to find Kathleen Bartholomew's book.

Just updated my new Google+ account (thanks for the invite Natalie). I don't know if it's just me or if it really is easier to navigate this new social networking site. I am sure there are always ways they can make it as difficult to navigate as Facebook has managed to do. Time will tell.

Clarion Ledger Article

Home-schooling numbers rise in Miss. This article is on the front page of our local newspaper today.

AD/HD Is The Diagnosis We Got From A Psychiatrist.

We got a diagnosis for my child this week. The psychiatrist said AD/HD. While he still has some gross motor difficulties, rarely talks outside the home and has tremendous difficulty making friends. Some of these symptoms go along with AD/HD, but not all. I do have immediate family members who have AD/HD with other learning disabilities. Now we need to see about treatment options. But what if we are treating him for the wrong thing?

We won't get in to see our pediatrician for treatment until August 16. It's a good thing we homeschool because there is no way we could start treatment and school at the same time. Change is not something my son is very good at.  

Some might say he just needs some discipline. I have another child who learns from her mistakes, she doesn't repeat behavior that has been corrected. Her reactions are not violently incongruent for simple requests. She receives the same discipline as her brother and we don't have learning, behavioral and motor skill difficulties with her. We have an exceptionally bright child with at disability, where do we go from here? We need help and have to wait on someone else's schedule to get it.

Nowadays you go to the doctor and wait and wait and then they rush you out the door as fast as they can, they barely listen. I know first hand, the Doctor's time is always more valuable than yours. We are so stuck with my son, we can't progress until we have some help. The psychiatrist said that he would grow out of his extreme shyness and the nervous tics and the twirling and that medication would help him concentrate on schoolwork. We took him there for diagnostic testing specifically for behavior problems all the questionnaires that we filled out were for AD/HD nothing else. Apparently any other diagnosis was out of the question.

AD/HD kids do get better but they need specific therapy to learn how to cope, they don't  "just grow out of it."  I know when to ask for help. We homeschool because we feel as though we can nurture our children's strengths instead of corralling them into schools who just teach according to state testing. But like I mentioned before we are at a crossroads with my son. We need help, and more answers.   

The Reliable Child Care Challenge!

I have a really hard time finding reliable child care. I don't know if it's me, or the people I hire. I am almost beginning to think it's me.

One time I hired someone and even bought her lunch when I interviewed her and she didn't show up. She didn't even answer her phone. Then about 4 months later I got a text from her asking me to retract a review that I posted at the agency that I use to find child care providers. This young woman went so far as to say that she was in a near fatal car accident that left her with a crushed pelvis and that she had no way of contacting me for that length of time and that she was fired from her job elsewhere (no respectful business would do that if someone was in such a life threatening situation). Out of the goodness of my heart I retracted the review. I am still skeptical.

I am not like some child care employers. I don't expect a lot. I do expect my kids to like the person who is taking care of them and I expect them to pick up after themselves. I do have one pet too many but they aren't that hard to manage. My house is clean. I also tell my sitters to help themselves to food and drinks. It's a pretty good gig with pay. At least I think it is. There is also the fact that some of these people think they should be paid a professional salary for sitting in my house, eating my food and watching my television. Sorry folks you get paid a professional salary when you have a degree and many, many years of experience. I went to college got my degree and now I have over 17 years of experience and the salary that reflects that.


With the summer coming I hope I won't be hunting someone new for child care. I had to hunt this week again. I finally got in touch with a sitter that I used a lot last fall (who consequently had been unavailable for a few months). Interviewing sitters is a really pain in the butt. It's hard for us we have no family nearby and my children are home educated so they are too old to go to daycare. Soon my son will be old enough to take care of his younger sibling. 

Is It Really True?

I remember exactly where I was on 9/11/01. I'd be willing to bet just about everyone I know remembers exactly what they were doing the moment that first jet hit the twin towers. Not to sound ungrateful but I would like to have seen Bin-Laden on American soil. The details are still a little sketchy to me but if the President gives a speech to say they had eliminated him I should believe. There is always a second in command. I don't think we will ever be rid of Al-Quaida.  However I will never give up hope we rid mankind of those who only hate.

In another thought. We are getting ready for a round of storms again this afternoon and evening. I am thinking only positive thoughts and hope those that were severely impacted by the recent bombardment of severe weather are spared from a second attack. Burt Case (those of my readers here in MS know him) is looking rather grave today it has been a rather busy newsy weekend.

I saw some posts on my Facebook home-page that read, "This weekend was like a Disney fairy-tale. The girl married the prince and the bad guy is dead." I was tickled when I saw that. If you read my last post I was up at 3am to watch the wedding of William and Kate. 

Hope the day brings less excitement and bad weather than it had over the past week. I wish everyone a quiet uneventful day.

The Royal Wedding and The Exhausted Nurse

Yes, I'll admit it I got up at 3am to not miss a minute of the event of the decade. I have always been fascinated with the Royals. My grandmother had a scrapbook she put news clippings, photos and any other memorabilia that she found that had to do with the British Royal Family. Never a visit went by that I didn't sit and look at that book. I intend to ask her if she still has that book.

I got goosebumps when I saw Prince William and Prince Harry on the move toward Westminster Abbey. Kate's dress reminds me of Princess Grace's gown, very glamorous. I gave a shameful play-by-play on Facebook this morning. I am sure my friends will forgive me.

I love hats! I am fascinated by all the headwear that adorn the heads of all the royal guests. Some hats are definitely a feat of architecture and gravity. Some of those hats were just downright gaudy. Princess Beatrice's Phillip Treacy fascinator was definitely a show stopper (just trying to be nice). The queen looked beautiful in her yellow ensemble.

 I didn't realize that the area front of Buckingham Palace was dirt. One day I will get to see it for myself. It is now 6:30am and I have been up for 3 1/2 hours. I will definitely need a nap this afternoon. I am waiting for the kiss.