Friday, February 18, 2011

Coping with Behavior Problems

I have a child who has developed a behavior problem. My almost 10 year old has decided he is going to be surly and try to bully me and my daughter. He also overeats and is overweight for his developmental age. He has gone from the sweetest well behaved child ever to one that will not do anything that is asked and constantly talks back. He is above average size for his age and has no concept of his strength. This child is very introverted and doesn't say much so you would never believe that he was so moody.

I am not a quitter but I am almost at the point that I can't deal with this child anymore. I wanted to keep them at home so that I could be the one who leads by example not a gaggle of age-mates with the odd adult stranger thrown in for good measure. What am I doing wrong?  Maybe I need a firmer hand and a louder voice.

One thing I do know that he really needs is a way to burn excess energy and let out pent up emotions. He is very sedentary and doesn't enjoy any sports or anything that has to do with physical activity. We practically have to shove him out the door to play outside. My daughter and I participate in Karate and my son used to do it too but he quit. I bribed him to come with me last night and he did really well but he says he's not going back. He quit scouts this year too.

If I keep worrying about my son's shortcomings is that all that I will see? He is a bright sweet natured child who loves animals and used to wake up smiling. He pretty much stopped speaking much until this year when I decided to take him out of the traditional education system. He loves music and video games. He learned how to play the violin last year and really enjoyed it. We are participating in archery during co-op time. He is excited about it and I am hoping this is something that he will stick with. Wish us luck in finding something for him to be passionate about.Junior Archery Set, 39 Inch Fiberglass Bow, 3 18 Inch Arrows, 4 Color Targets, Boxed


  1. Thinking about you, Tammy; I know it will get better soon. You're a great mom! Dawn

  2. I don't really have any advice for you. However, my feeling is that a louder voice may well win the battle, but it won't win the war. Good luck finding a way to reconnect. Your son is a good kid and you are a good mom. Don't forget that.

  3. In the coming weeks, Kate hopes to be involved in the grooming and basic handling of horses at a local equine rescue. It's not athletic but it is outside and involves animals. Maybe he can make a connection with shy horses who need help learning to trust people again.

  4. Thanks Lisa and Dawn for the encouragement.

  5. Hey Natalie. I am really bad at remembering to check the comments on this blog. I think that he would really blossom and come out of his shell doing something like that.